Denver Art Therapy & Counseling

The Gift of Play

2011-12-15T18:58:00.000-08:00

Sketchbook as Playground

It's December 15 and this is my November blog post about the importance of play. I intended to write this post for November actually in November, but I got a too busy with work. Seriously. The sad irony of this is not lost on yours truly.

One of step-dad's favorite maxiums is, "You have to play as hard as you work". When I was a Fine Arts Major studying painting in my undergrad at the University of Kansas, I lost sight of this simple yet profound advice and became too caught up in being an "artist". I felt it was important to maintain a persona, and churn out what I felt must be absolutely amazing pieces on a consistent basis AND be able to defend these pieces in group critiques from one eye brown raising professors. I stopped playing. It wasn't a fun time.

Fast forward a few years later to when I was pursuing my graduate degress in Art Therapy Counseling at Southern Illinois University in Edwardsville. One of the things that drew me into the career path of an art therapist, was the emphasis on sketching, crafting, process over product - in essence PLAY. Somehow, I learned how to play in the art studio again, and art-making became fun again. Perhaps the few years I spent teaching art at an elementary school allowed me to follow the lead of my students. Or maybe the whole notion that it was supposed to be "therapuetic" when we engaged with the art materials allowed me to relax and be gentle with myself.

Even now, though I readily advise my clients to 'play more', I'll admit I could use an occasional reminder myself.

Why is it that as adults we are resistant to play? How did we come to stigmatize this natural, life-enhancing phenomenon as a waste of time? We want to dance at a friends wedding, but we don't want to look stupid. We sing only when we are along in the car. We work our dear selves too death, and fill our schedules to the brim so that play is left out of the equation. We think that others will perceive us as less intelligent or competent if we play.

Perceptions be damned. In fact, quite the opposite is true. PLAY MAKES US SMARTER. "Nothing lights up the brain like play" , states psychiatrist Dr. Stuart Brown. Check out Dr. Brown at a recent TED talk presenting on the life enhancing powers of play. This holiday season, why not give your loved ones, and yourself, the gift of play?

Towards an Aesthetic Transformation; Part Two: This is Your Brain on Art

2011-10-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

In my last post discussing the process of engaging with art therapeutically, I ended with the question of "What is it about art making that transforms negative feelings on an experience or aspect of one's self to something else? Something lighter?". I knew that was a big question for a 500 words or less blog post, but now I know the answer to that question is even bigger than a "Part Two" post might accommodate. I'll share with you what I've come across thus far, but you'll have to forgive me for being much more of an artist and a clinician than a researcher, as some of what I'll share is anecdotal.

Psychiatrist Mark Epstein, who also happens to be a Buddhist, explains in his book, Going on Being, what meditation has in common with psychotherapy is that they both make room for the "uninterrupted flow of authentic self". I like to meditate, but if I try to sit still while chanting I'll go nuts. I know this works for many people, a colleague of mine Dr. Parker Wilson at the Awakened Mind Institute, has used this approach to provide incredible support and healing for his psychotherapy clients. So certainly, if meditation is your path, stick with it. For me, mediation happens when I am painting or running. In my experience these activities too, allow for the "uninterrupted flow of authentic self".

I ran my third marathon in beautiful St. George, Utah a few weeks ago. I'll be candid and say that while it did hurt those last few miles, the majority of the race felt like meditation. Flow, while moving your feet through breathtaking scenery.

Both meditation and running are good for your brain in that they allow the growth of increased grey matter. A study published in Neuro Report in 2005 found that mediation for as little as 40 minutes a day produced significant changes in the areas of the brain responsible for emotional regulation. Research from a Cambridge study in 2009 found that exercise, especially running, promotes neurogenisis (the growth of new brain cells). Reduced neurogensis is associated with depression.

Soooo, if running and mediation both do this, and I feel like running and art-making are my meditation, then art-making, especially when combined with a therapeutic intention, must have a similar benefit for our brains, right? I tried to be a Google Scholar for this one and haven't come up with any good links yet, but I'm going to go out on my non-scientific limb and say "YES! It does!". Or at least it does for me. I've also observed this in my clinical experience as an Art Therapist.

So, perhaps the transformative process happens as a result of increased grey matter or at the very minimum new pathways and levels of understanding in the brain. We might describe this in a therapeutic sense as when the ego has to sit with it's dark, shameful aspects of itself long enough to move through them. Epstein states: a healthy ego is able to initiate and engage and then dissolve in something bigger beyond the individual. The something bigger could be the view point of another person, seeing beyond the pain of one's experience, losing your self in nature, a painting, etc. An ego that is disturbed "gets in its own way" has trouble letting go, and thus feels a terrible sense of loneliness at the expense of clinging to it's own reality. Epstein states that the therapeutic process is like meditation in this way because the 'ego can be undone only by knowing itself'. In other words, when we sit with the shameful parts of ourselves, like I did when I was painting "My Dad Lives in a Trailer" we come away looking at our experience with new eyes: "My Dad lives in a trailer, so what?".

Towards an Aesthetic Transformation of Shame; Part One: On process

2011-09-02T20:33:00.000-07:00

In my work with my art therapy clients, I'm always asking them to 'process' their work with me at the end of the session or the conclusion of a piece. 'Processing' a piece means that the creator shares the thought that went into the initial creation of the piece as well as any subsequent insight. Processing might also include a discussion of the materials chosen and why, or how the artist felt using those particular materials. Processing can be a fairly revealing ... well, ... process. Therefore when I work with clients verbally processing with me as the Art Therapist is always an option, never mandatory.

I finally finished a painting I began several months ago. I decided to share my process a little in this blog post: The original idea came from a sketch from my Art Therapy peer supervision group. In the sketch, aptly know as "My dad lives in a trailer", I drew from memory my father's sad little peach colored trailer. IRL, my dad does live in a trailer but it's in one of those nice little retirement communities, full of some of the most well kept trailers I've ever seen actually. I think the loneliness I feel for my dad comes through in my sketch. The initial sketch included a girl (presumably me) with an owl in front of her face.

When I began the painting itself the girl didn't seem to fit so she was edited out. I tried to depict a season in between late winter and early spring. I was aiming for something that was unsettled, inconclusive. I started in acrylics but then switched to oils.

I love oils. I love, love, love, them. They are, for lack of a better description, so damn expressive. Painting the owl was my favorite part. After I began to work on the owl, the vast white space of the lawn seemed overwhelming. Then, Bang! ... it occurred to me I could use spray paint and a pattern or template. That electric impulse of creativity is always a joy.

A trip to Home Depot and two cans of spray paint later, we have our 'lawn'. I added a few finishing touches and I may add a few more, but all in all, I think this painting is a wrap. Looking at the finished product, I find it to me much more positive that the initial sketch. I took out the creepy girl with no face as well as the angry "My dad lives in a trailer scrawl". In addition the final piece is more more spring-like and colorful than the initial sketch. Oh, and this is a a big painting, about 3'x3'. I look at it now and I think, "This is a beautiful painting". Oddly beautiful perhaps, still some feelings of longing and loss remain, but beautiful none the less. Internally and psychically, I feel a sense of resolution. I look at the painting and wonder "Where did the shame go?" . "What was the magical process that transformed resistance into acceptance?" I'm not sure I have the answers, but I'll make a valiant effort in answering them in PART TWO ....

Remembering Adundance

2011-06-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

I'm really feeling a sense of abundance as of late. In my practice with my courageous clients, at home with my loving, hilarious husband and our two furry babies. Lots, and lots of abundance all around, but also feeling a bit depleted by the energy all of this takes to maintain. This weekend I treated the artist in my Art Therapist self to an creative play date, or engaged in what The Artist Way author Julia Cameron calls, "taking time to refill the well".

I tagged along with my friend Liz to investigate some of the art openings and open studios as a part of the RINO Art Safari in the River North Arts District. I always love pal-ing around with Liz. She is an art consultant and has such a lovely way to creating a narrative in which a piece of art really 'lives'. You should read her blog, 'Studio Sleuth' to experience this for yourself. The way Liz talks about art helps me to remember why I ever started liking it in the first place....because art is a part of our humanity.

The above image is looking south at city from the River North Art District. It's very urban; reminds me of St. Louis. However, within this industrial countryside, artists are using their creativity and ingenuity to breathe new life into this space, finding abundance is the midst of old warehouses and factories.

My favorite open studio we visited was that of Weilworks Gallery. Wow! Just an amazing living and work space - something right out of DWELL magazine. Here is an image of the Buddha with some California poppies in the garden.

When Liz and I visited Ironton Gallery it started to rain. Ironton is another absolutely spellbinding creative space. Metal, dirt, rocks, plants, white gallery walls. I found all of the textures invigorating. My only art purchase of the day took place here. I found these two 'wabi sabi-esque' chairs. An artist explained to me her mother used to refinish chairs and these two were in process. I think the in process aspect is my favorite part. I've decided I'm going to put some polyurethane or another weatherproof sealant over the flaking blue paint - but other than that leave them as they are.

Rejuvenated I came home and became reacquainted with our roses. This time I really saw them. I had forgotten about them, but they remembered me. I felt calmed by the fact that they bloomed again this year, right on time, just like last year, without a whole lot of coaxing form me. Abundance. I'm glad I took some time to enjoy it.

You are more than your Diagnosis

2011-04-29T15:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, April has absolutely flown by! Once again, I'm meeting my goal of completing a blog post at the 11th hour. Earlier this month I had the opportunity to finish my second marathon, The Go St. Louis Marathon on April 10. I enjoyed the experience immensely and did fairly well despite the heat and humidity on race day (it was about 90 degrees when I finished). This is an image of me and my cousin at the finish.

For me, running has been a wonderful way to help regulate my mood, as during my teens and twenties I battled moderate depression and anxiety. One of the reasons I became a therapist was to better understand and safely express these feelings in myself and in others.

It took a long time for me to feel comfortable openly discussing my more 'dark' emotions, as even today a stigma exists around mental health diagnoses. May is Mental Health Month - and since it's almost May I thought it would be appropriate to consider prominent individuals with mental health concerns. The list below is compiled from Mental Health Ministries and the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

You may be surprised to see some of our national heroes and screen icons that made the list. You can follow the links for for information about these individuals and their specific diagnoses, ranging from bi-polar disorder, depression, to schizophrenia. I didn't add that information to this post, as I wanted to drive home the point that whatever label one's mental health concerns fall under, it's important to remember that YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR DIAGNOSIS. A clinical diagnosis is an important and and useful tool for consumers and clinician's alike, however as the accomplishments of the individuals listed below attest, it does not have to limit one's contribution to humanity. With support of family, friends, a good therapist, and daily self-care activities like running - and creative self-expression, individuals with a mental health diagnosis like the ones listed below prove they are more than their diagnosis every day.

Abraham Lincoln
Virginia Woolf Lionel Aldridge
Eugene O'Neill
Ludwig van Beethoven
Gaetano Donizetti
Robert Schumann
Leo Tolstoy
Vaslov Nijinsky
John Keats
Tennessee Williams
Vincent Van Gogh
Isaac Newton
Ernest Hemingway
Sylvia Plath
Michelangelo
Winston Churchill
Vivien Leigh
Jimmy Piersal
Patty Duke
Charles Dickens
John Forbes Nash
Bette Midler Charles Schultz
Dick Clark
Irving Berlin
Rosemary Clooney
Burgess Meredith
Peter Illyich Tchaikovsky
Janet Jackson
Roseanne Barr
Marlon Brando
Buzz Aldrin

Blended, Not Broken Families

2011-03-22T08:36:00.000-07:00

I am product of a blended family. Only until very recently did I not feel a huge stigma around this piece of my personal life. My parents, though not perfect, have been largely able to co-parent without significant conflict, I have several friends whose parent's divorced and remarried, so it was surprising for me that I didn't really worry about 'being a child of divorce' until my adult life when I became a therapist serving as a support person for families and children who already are members of blended families or whose parents are in the process of divorce and separation.Then I heard the stories of 'how damaging the divorce is for children'. I thought, is that me? When my client's ponder the changes occurring in their own sense of self and wonder, 'Am I damaged goods?' what do I tell them?

Even under the best circumstances, there is no question that divorce is a loss. However, viewing one's family as blended, not broken is crucial for the the rebuilding and transformation that occurs as part of the healing process after divorce. As I learned more about the phenomenon of divorce I was relieved to learn that the so called 'adverse effects of divorce on children' are virtually nonexistent when the divorce itself is a factor. Children possess incredible resilience. What actually has a negative effect on children of divorce is the presence of conflict within the co-parenting relationship.

Wow! I thought as I breathed a huge sigh of relief .THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Divorced spouses who must transition from a marital romantic relationship to a co-parenting business-like relationship know this, but admittedly, the that transition is not without it's challenges. Some fundamentals to a navigating a successful co-parenting relationship with your spouse and honoring your blended family include:

1. Don’t speak negatively about your ex-spouse in front of or to your child. Your ex-spouse is your child’s parent and your child will absorb some of those negative perceptions into his/her own self-concept.

2. Do not use your child as a messenger to deliver information to the other parent. If you are not speaking to the other parent, communicate with the child's therapist, and give them permission to communicate co-parenting concerns between yourself and the other parent.

3. Child support, insurance benefits, and visitation are benefits belonging to your child, not your ex-spouse. Don’t use your child to get revenge on the other parent by denying these things.

4. Parents naturally want to know what their child is doing when they are with the other parent. However, a barrage of questions when the child is transitioning from one household to another can feel uncomfortable to your child. Don't use your child as a spy.

5. Your child wants to please you. Don’t make them chose sides in a dispute with the other parent.

6. When your child discusses their relationship with the other parent be neutral and supportive. Try to say nice things about the other parent such in connection to the positive aspects of your child's behavior, such as "Wow, those are great cookies you made! Your mother is a great cook too, I bet you got that from her. "

Your child will wonder about his/her sense of place or identify during these shifting family dynamics. Creating a family tree like this one pictured from Chathamhillgames.com is a fun and engaging activity to complete with your child to affirm their sense of self.

If one parent lives out of state, and your child is not a 'big phone talker' try to use alternative means of helping your child stay connected to their parent. Myfamily.com and FamilyCrossings.com are two free and or low cost websites that are private and provide an additional way for blended families to stay connected.

Lastly, get support. Working with a qualified mental health professional will give your child a neutral and supportive environment where he/she will be able to openly express his or her feelings. Having your own therapist, will offer you a private space from which to reflect and vent, while maintaining appropriate boundaries between yourself and your children.

Any additional helpful points to consider? Please share them below!

New Social Skills Group for Boys Ages 9-12 years

2011-01-25T14:48:00.000-08:00

Denver Art Therapy & Counseling is excited to share our upcoming group, Journey of the Peaceful Warrior :
A cognitive skills and expressive therapy group for boys ages 9-12 years.

What is a Peaceful Warrior?

A Peaceful Warrior is someone who stands up for themselves without hurting others. Someone who lives their life with courage, strength, and love.

You love your son and know he has a Peaceful Warrior inside of him just waiting to come out. Journey of the Peaceful Warrior is a 7 week group following the “Secret of the Peaceful Warrior” book by Dan Millman. Using art making and story-telling, your son will learn and practice cognitive skills to effectively address concerns related to self-esteem, peer or family relationships, and support concerns related to divorce, becoming a blended family, traumatic experiences, and loss.

PARENTS: Please email us at erin@erinbrumleve for a complete group curriculum.

90 minute sessions x1/week for 7 weeks.
Wednesdays, 5:30-7pm beginning February 16 until March 30, 2010.
All materials provided. Group is limited to 8 children. $245. $80 Deposit to Register.
New clients without a primary therapist must complete a 55 minute intake prior to attending group. Some insurance companies may provide reimbursement for group costs.

Register Today by Calling 303.681.7913 or Online.

Denver Art Therapy & Counseling is located at 1571 Race St. in the historic Wyman District. Groups are led by Erin Brumleve, MA, LPC, ATR. Erin is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Art Therapist Registered. Erin has worked in the intersecting fields of arts, education, and mental health for over 11 years.

Making Sense of Insurance Benefits and Psychotherapy

2011-01-13T09:24:00.000-08:00

Last summer I was looking for a qualified mental health therapist for myself. Yes, even a therapist needs therapeutic support from time to time. There is no shame for me around sharing this. In fact, I feel participating in my own psychotherapy helps me to a better therapist in that it allows me to be aware of my own vulnerabilities and biases, and allows me to be more empathetic to my clients' therapeutic process. After all, I know first hand that it can feel a little odd initially to share highly personal information with someone you really don't know.

At any rate, I decided to use my mental health insurance to access psychotherapy services. I wanted to make sure I could afford to participate in therapy on a regular basis, and I figured my insurance would help make that goal more affordable and realistic.

First of all, when I called the insurance companies as a client, not a Mental Health Provider, I noticed (and perhaps this was my imagination) that they were a little more curt to me than they were when I called as a professional. Shame on you insurance companies - as that does nothing to remove the stigma surrounding accessing mental health services.

Afterwards, deciphering the information I was given was challenging, as I am not an in-network provider for the type of insurance I have for myself. In short, let me say with candor, that the process was a big pain in the 'rear' !

So I wanted to share with you a series of steps that I have developed after my own professional experience and learning from other mental health providers, that you should be prepared to ask your insurance company when accessing your benefits for mental health services.

1. Call the phone number listed on the back of your insurance card under “Mental Health”.

2. Ask the following questions:

Does my plan include mental health benefits?
Is (Name of Your Therapist) an in-network or out-of-network provider?
How many sessions per calendar year does my plan include?
When does my plan renew?
What is my co-pay amount for a “Specialist” for an Out Patient Therapy Visit?
Do I need prior authorization or referral to begin therapy?
What is my deductible for mental health services and has it been met?
Are there any types of outpatient mental health therapies my plan does not cover?
How much does my plan cover for an out-of-network provider?
Do I have a higher deductible for out-of-network providers.

All of these questions should help to bring provide some clarity as to the details of your coverage for psychotherapy. Your insurance company and your therapist's billing office will tell you however, that final coverage and benefits will be determined when a claim is submitted. You should know that you will be responsible for any fees that your insurance does not cover. This is why it is important to determine if you have an outstanding deductible.

I hope that helps make sense of things, and remember you can always ask your therapist for help after you've contacted your insurance company. Therapists tend to be pretty nice people after all ;)

(Image credit: http://icanhascheezburger.com/)

FAQ's from future Art Therapists

2010-12-17T16:22:00.000-08:00

I guess people can tell I really like my job, and that I'm happy, because I regularly receive inquires from persons interested in a career in art therapy and counseling.

I try to meet this need by hosting an "Art Therapy Seminar" on the first Tuesday evening of the month where I lead a group discussion about the requirements needed to become an Art Therapist Registered, answer any related questions, and facilitate an art therapy experiential. The experiential is an important component in that it allows participants to feel what it is like to be creative in a therapeutic setting and with others as a witness. The Art Therapy Seminar is a terrific resource if you live in the Denver Metro area, but I often receive inquires from out of state ... California, New Jersey, it's kind of amazing really. So, I thought it might be helpful for those interested in a career in as an Art Therapist and searching the Internet for said information, if I created a blog post answering some of the frequently asked questions I receive about the work that I do.

• What is satisfying about your work?

Authentically connecting with other people and helping them resolve conflicts, find meaning, or safely express feelings.

• How did you become interested in this line of work?

In college at the University of Kansas, I studied Fine Arts. I found that art making expressed my feelings and truth in a way that words could not. I stumbled upon Pat Allen’s book “Art is a Way of Knowing” and began learning about art therapy. When this happened, something clicked for me.

I still make work in this manner. Often, I will try out art therapy interventions or directives on myself before sharing them with clients. This helps me to better understand both the process of working with certain materials and to understand feelings and thoughts that might come up for a person when following a particular art therapy directive. The above image is a work in progress that is based on the art therapy directive "Draw the Door To your Inner Self".

• What was the progression from when you decided you were interested in your work to now?

When I began my graduate training at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville in 2003, I did not like all of the paperwork and licensing requirements – but now I feel they are important in that they protect the public and ensure that only trained professionals can provide art therapy and professional counseling services.

• What’s a typical day like?

Wake up between 5:30- 6:00am. Exercise (good self-care!!). Breakfast.

Arrive at the office around 9:00-9:30am. Meet with approx. 4-6 clients a day at various times, return phone calls, emails, submit claims to insurance companies. Brainstorm on appropriate interventions for current client concerns. Talk with attorney's and collateral professionals, as more and more I am focusing my practice on divorce and separation related concerns.

Lunch around 12:00pm. Maybe a mid-day walk to the coffee shop.

Document all clinical contacts in HIPPA compliant format. Last appointment usually ends anywhere between 6pm – 8pm. Go home, unwind and go to sleep around 10:00pm.

• What’s the most challenging aspect of your work?

When clients have experienced really difficult circumstances like trauma or loss, or are really upset or in a high conflict situation with a family member, it is difficult to be both empathetic and maintain objective distance. I would say it is good to have any understanding of what clients feel, but perhaps not to feel that way yourself, which can be hard sometimes.

• Did you always want to do this type of work?

Since I was 20 years old – yes! Before that I wanted to be an art teacher or a veterinarian.

• What are your future plans?

I would love to get my Doctoral Degree (PsyD or PhD) in Art Therapy or Clinical Psychology.

Hope that helps, future art therapy professionals! If you have additional questions, please feel free to ask them in the comment section.

I am Thankful for Now

2010-11-21T19:05:00.000-08:00

Recently I finished a new painting. I'm not a fast painter. Nor do I try to be. I enjoy taking my time in a painting, and painting when I want to and what I want to. For me, part of the act of painting an image has parallel process to what is going on in my life at that time. Strangely enough, I usually wrap up a painting as whatever it is I am 'working through' comes to a resolution.

This painting is about time and change and being grounded in spite of and through all of it. I think it is called "There is a season". I remember when I was a child listening to my mother sing and play the song "Turn, Turn, Turn" by The Byrds that features the Bible verse Ecclesiastes 3:1-18.

To everything, turn, turn, turn
There is a season, turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of peace, I swear it’s not too late

It's a really great song, and a great Bible verse, for that matter.

There have been lots of changes, per usual, in my life as of late. Historically, I have not anticipated change well. However, lately I've been getting better. I think this is in part due to how courageously I see others negotiate change, including my clients. Since now is the season for giving thanks, this painting has given me the opportunity to reflect on how I am thankful for groundedness, and being centered amidst change, and the new found ability to more thoroughly appreciate the moment. We only have a season after all before it's gone.

What are you thankful for this season? How are you staying centered during the changes in your own life?

On Perfectionism, Or Why I haven't Posted in 3 months & Why This Book Encouraged Me to Do So

2010-10-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

A little over 6 weeks ago, I took down my blog. I wasn't happy with the length, content or frequency of my posts (too long, too short, too academic, not academic enough, too infrequent, too much).

At the time, I felt overwhelmed with managing the changes in my practice and other activities in my personal and professional life. I also had recently been to court for as an expert witness and became paranoid that my social media musings would be used against me. Mostly, I felt that this blog was not enough - I should be in a doctoral program and writing a dissertation or writing a book.

But since that time, I've done some personal work - going to see my own therapist, getting lots of supervision and consultation in my field, making art. And now I'm feeling like I have things I want to say and share with others. What I want to share today is a recommendation for this amazing book Finding Your Voice through Creativity: The Art and Journaling Workbook for Disordered Eating by Mindy Jacobson-Levy and Maureen Foray-Tornay.

Art Therapists Jacobson-Levy and Foray-Tornay have created a wonderful resource for use by individuals seeking recovery from disordered eating as well as for the professionals who support them through this process. Art Therapy professionals will find that the interventions are easily adaptable to concerns such as adolescent moods and behavior, self-harm as well as trauma recovery - which often co-occur with disordered eating. Individuals who use this resource alone or with a therapist will find that the workbook is very user friendly and affirming to one's own creative process while also offering gentle challenges to one's current perspective.

This book reaffirmed for me once again how effective the art therapy process is for "giving the heart a voice" and finding words for feelings and experiences that were previously occupying a place in one's pre-verbal consciousness.

So, that being said, along with my aforementioned social media struggles, I'm feeling like this post is just the right length and thank you for reading. Till next time ...

Art Therapy Group for Breast Cancer Patients and Suvivors and their Children

2010-06-20T14:54:00.000-07:00

Next month, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to co-facilitate an Art Therapy Group for Breast Cancer Survivors and their Children at Exempla St. Joseph's Hospital Comprehensive Cancer Center.

My mother is a breast cancer survivor. She's in Alaska right now on a cruise (what a life!!), so I can't ask her exactly how long she has been cancer free but a rough estimate is about 13 years. So this issue is definitely close to my heart.

My co-facilitator and the Lead Art Therapist for this group is Noel Walker Simmons, Outreach Director of The Other Side Arts. Noel is full of compassion and warmth, plus she is one heck of an artist. I'm so excited to get to collaborate with her!

Group participants can look forward to support from each other and from two trained art therapists, experiencing how powerful art and creativity can be in the healing process, as well as learning ways of adjusting to loss and envisioning a positive future. The adult and child groups will meet at the same time, with Noel leading the adult group and myself leading the children's group.

All participants must be either a breast cancer patient currently undergoing treatment, or a survivor, or a child of either a patient or survivor. This group is particularly for women and children who might not otherwise have access to art therapy services. Therefore, all participants must be Medicaid or C.I.C.P. eligible. In addition, we ask that all participants are able to commit to the group for four consecutive Wednesdays beginning July 7 from 1:00-3:00pm.

Now here is the fun part: You don't have to be an artist or have any experience with art therapy to participate. All art materials plus light refreshments are provided! Isn't that great?!!

If you or someone you know could benefit from this group, please contact Janice Hansen at Explema St. Joe's to register. You can reach her here: 303-318-1312.

Saying Goodbye to the Big Hurt

2010-06-01T20:41:00.000-07:00

The other evening my husband and I were cleaning out the garage. Impulsively, I started to unwrap a painting I did in college that had been in storage since our move to Colorado nearly five years ago. As I tore the cardboard and cut the packaging tape, I did have the brief thought of "What am I doing?". Our hip, young, arty neighbors were outside, and I wanted to share the painting with them, perhaps to demonstrate that I too, was once cool, young, and arty.

By the time I was able to free my painting from its cardboard confines, our neighbors had gone back inside, and I felt it would be especially uncool to knock on their door just for the purpose of sharing my painting. That most likely was a cognitive error on my part, but none the less, I didn't continue the effort to share. I had destroyed the cardboard in my zeal to unearth the painting. Not wanting to leave it exposed in the garage, I decided to bring the painting back inside the house.

"Wow," I thought, "that IS a big painting." The painting is in in oil over stretched canvas and measures approximately 60" x 48". I made it over the course of 4 hours in a Figure Painting class in college. Our instructor had posed a small skeletal model of a baby near the female model. She didn't explain why.

I painted what I saw, but I mostly painted what I felt. In a 'trance' for several hours, I chose to use only grays, whites and blacks. It was one of the 'quickest' paintings I've ever made. I felt odd about this, like I cheated or something, until I won an award for the painting later on in the school year. That tangible aspect of external validation goes a long way.

Most viewers who come across the painting have remarked that it is a statement regarding either the pro-life or pro-choice movements. Looking at it myself, I can see how it could be interpreted that way. For me, the painting was a way to sublimate feelings of immense loss and sadness. I had recently been dumped by my college boyfriend, a man I had assumed at the time was "the one".

As upset as I was at the time, after class I do remember feeling a little lighter, as if I had let go of tiny piece of what I now call The Big Hurt. How lucky I was to be in art school, where large figurative abstract paintings were still en vogue and encouraged by the instructors. I poured my despair into the painting "Sorry", aptly titled to describe how I felt at the time, as if I alone was wholly responsible for the end of the relationship.

Those days were when the seedlings of my interest in art therapy began to sprout.

Geneen Roth, states in her recent book, Women, Food, and God, that "With awareness (the ability to know what you are feeling) and presence (the ability to inhabit a feeling while sensing that which is bigger than the feeling), it is possible to be with what you believe will destroy you without being destroyed." Little did I know that in art class, I was cultivating awareness and presence. I was able to step into the feeling of loss. Actually it was more like an ocean of loss, the loss of relationship extending to loss of self. I was able muck around in there for a while with presence as my life buoy. And then I was able to come out, and let a little bit of those feelings go.

Fast forward to last week when I rediscovered my 12 year old painting in our garage. "Wow, that's a big painting. I still have this?!? Ah yes, my painting about breaking up with 'what's his name'. This thing is an albatross. I wonder if I can sell it on Craigslist."

Kind of funny, isn't it? At the time, I thought I would never get over what's his name, so much so I made a big public monument to his loss. Now I rediscover the painting and the loss and think "This thing is getting in my way." My point is that somewhere between then and now, by engaging in art practices, creating the "Sorry" painting and subsequent others, I had moved through that experience of loss. It wasn't like I woke up and shouted, "I'm healed!" But gradually, through the presence and awareness that comes with engaging in art materials, I was able to fill the void that loss had created in a healthy and safe manner.

Now, I have so much to be thankful for. My husband, my family, a job I am passionate about. Anyone want a big painting? I'll give it to you for a song.

Participation in The Denver Hospice Mask Project 2010

2010-04-02T07:13:00.000-07:00

It's time to celebrate the annual The Mask Project live/silent auction and gala! The Mask Project is produced by The Denver Hospice as a community event to raise funds for end-of-life care throughout the Denver area.

This year there are over 400 masks on display, including masks by approximately 250 fine artists, as well as masks by celebrities, sports figures, and local community members.

This is my first year participating in The Mask Project. My mask is titled "Aspen Trees at Sunset" is pictured above. I am honored to participate in this event, a wonderful example of community arts therapy or art therapy at the macro level. You can bid on my mask and 406 others here: http://bit.ly/bupro5.

All proceeds from The 2010 Mask Project benefit The Denver Hospice, which has over 800 patients in their care on a daily basis throughout Colorado. The Denver Hospice Grief Center is opens their doors to everyone in our community, regardless of whether they are involved in hospice or not, and served more than 5,500 adults in 2008.

To learn more about the Denver Hospice visit http://www.thedenverhospice.org/.
To learn more about this year's Mask Project visit http://www.themaskproject.org/ - And if you are in the Denver area, be sure to stop by the Cherry Creek Mall, where several masks will be on display until May 2.

On Following Your Moral Compass

2010-03-12T12:07:00.000-08:00

During the spring in my senior year of high school in 1995, I was depressed. Like many adolescents transitioning to college, I had a great deal of anxiety and uncertainty about who I wanted to be and how I was going to achieve such.

Now, as an art therapist working largely with children and their families, I know that the primary developmental task of adolescence is to figure out who one is. Looking back however, at that time I did not know that such was okay and in fact perfectly normal for an 18 year old girl to be undecided about well, quite a few things.

One place where I did feel 'myself' was in art class. I was good at art, and it came naturally. I loved that I had the freedom to make whatever I wanted. It also helped that my art teachers were wonderful, never judgemental, and seemed to know that art making met an emotional need for their students that had no substitute. That last semester in art class, we were working on figure painting. Two boys in our class modeled for our paintings. They were clothed of course - this was high school people, come on.

My painting ended up looking admittedly odd. At that time, I couldn't articulate what the painting meant to me, I just knew it was important. I don't even remember if I gave it a title. I do remember a friend of my parents jokingly calling it "No Guts; No Glory".

After that summer I went on to attend college and majored in painting at the University of Kansas. The four hour drive from my college to my small hometown seemed like light years away. College was a time of several major transformations for me. I was in art school in a small Midwestern College town in the comparatively prosperous late 90's. It was a crazy, decadent time and I made lots of crazy, decadent art.

By the time I finished college the pendulum had swung the other way and I was back to running, and being that strange combination of an artist-athlete-nerd. After graduation, my friend Laurel and I celebrated with a girls road trip through Kansas and Colorado to Santa Fe, New Mexico and back.

One of the more striking aspects of our trip for me was when we stopped in Alamosa, CO to look at the sand dunes. Our stop was by accident. We took pictures and I felt an eerie sense that something had come full circle. The sand dunes were like the landscape in my painting back in high school. What is even stranger is that I had very short hair at the time and was dressing rather androgynous, and happened to wear a white t-shirt and jeans that day. I felt like I was the figure in my painting! I made Laurel take a picture of me posing as the figure had posed in the painting - of course now I can' t seem to find it so you, dear reader, will just have to take my word for it.

Back at home, looking at the pictures I felt even more sure that something significant had taken place at the sand dunes. I felt like it was a message from the universe that I was headed on the right path. I also started referring to my weird painting as a "pre-cognitive painting" - meaning that I had painted a moment prior to it occurring in real life/real time.

This blog is starting to sound a little new-agey, huh? Okay, back on track. The sand dunes and how they seemed so much like what I had painted almost 5 years before, while significant to me, is not really the point of my post today. What I am getting to, is musing on a moral compass.

I first heard the term 'moral compass' from my friend Gini Dietrich. Gini shared that she knows when she is close to veering from her moral compass - she can feel it - in her gut. Many times Gini has told me how on the rarer occasions, when she hasn't 'gone with her gut', she has come to regret it. I think Gini has finely tuned a sensibility that we all posses, we just need to practice getting in touch with it.

In recent years I've come to the conclusion that the figure in my weird high school painting was lacking a locus of control, a center. If you look closely, you can see the innards of the figure are woven into with the landscape, implying perhaps that the figure is seeking completion outside of himself. That's EXACTLY how I remember feeling at that time. Now that I work with adolescents, I know that these kinds of feelings go hand in hand with being a teenager.

This last image came very recently after I had a series of experiences in my personal and professional life where I felt I really had to hone my moral compass. Sometimes honing one's moral compass means standing up for your yourself, even if doing so creates conflict with people who you hold in high esteem.

This image is far less androgynous and has a compass right in her gut to guide her. She has better boundaries and is more self-assured - we don't see her organs strewn about the landscape. I hope to create a more polished piece, maybe a painting based on this sketch soon. Till then...shhhh....wait...can you hear that? It's your gut, listen to it.

Upcoming Groups Forming at Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co.

2010-02-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co. has several new groups forming now for children, teens, and professionals in the Denver area:

"Who am I now that my Family has changed?"
An Expressive Mask Making Group for Pre Teens and Teens of Divorced Parents

Being a teenager is full of challenges. Research shows that even adolescents with otherwise "problem free" lives experience a decline in their self - concept between the ages of 12 -14. For adolescents who are trying to figure out who they are while simultaneously adjusting to life after their parent's divorce, developing a positive sense of self can be an especially daunting task. Join Erin at Denver Art Therapy Counseling for an expressive arts therapy group for teens ages 12-16 utilizing mask making to promote safe feelings expression and address the adolescent developmental task of figuring out "Who am I now that my family has changed?".

Participants will create a series of three masks, "Past Self", "Present Self" and "Future Self" while also receiving support and psychoeducation as a group regarding how their lives have changed since the divorce or separation of their parents and how to cope with these changes. The masks will act as a safe container for strong feelings. Participants will also be given sketch books to safely and privately process their feelings and ideas. This is popular group for teens and is one of my favorites to lead. 1.5 hour art therapy studio sessions x1/week for 8 weeks. The final week will include an exhibition of participant art work in the lovely and historic Grant Street Mansion. Family and Friends will be invited to the Opening Reception.

Thursdays, 6:00-7:30 pm beginning March 4 until April 22 . All materials are provided. Group is limited to 7 participants. $220 REGISTRATION AND PAYMENT

Social Skills Group for Children
A psycho-educational and play therapy group for children ages 7-10 years.

Each session is comprised of a 30 minute social skills lesson, followed by 30 minutes of supervised "free play” where children receive encouragement while practicing social skills with each other. Parents will receive a daily report form with the skills learned and how their child interacted during free play. Skills practiced include: developing self esteem, tolerance, problem solving, and sharing. 60 minute sessions x1/week for 6 weeks. Group may be divided into gender subsets if appropriate.

Thursdays, 4:30-5:30 beginning April 8 until May 13, 2010. All materials provided. Group is limited to 6 children. $150 REGISTRATION AND PAYMENT

Art Therapy Seminar - For Students and Professionals interested in Art Therapy as a Career

Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co. regular receive requests from students and professionals interested in learning more about art therapy, either as a career path or as an additional modality to round out a professional therapy practice.

To meet this need we have established an Art Therapy Seminar that meets the first Tuesday of each month for 90 minutes. During the seminar Erin Brumleve, MA, LPC, ATR will lead a discussion about the requirements needed to become an Art Therapist Registered and answer any related questions. Erin will also facilitate an art therapy experiential so that participants can feel what it is like to be creative in a therapeutic setting. All participants will receive a list of art therapy resources to take home along with their art experiential product.

First Tuesday of the Month, 7:00 - 8:30pm, $30 REGISTRATION AND PAYMENT

All of the Groups are "Wellness Groups", meaning that a mental health diagnosis is not issued to participants, and groups are not reimbursable by your insurance company.

Please share this post with someone you know who may benefit from our awesome Art Therapy Groups.
Please feel free to email me with questions or concerns regarding our upcoming groups.

What is Termination and How to Discuss it With your Therapist

2010-01-22T13:14:00.000-08:00

The end of therapy is one of the important aspects of the therapeutic relationship. However, knowing when and how to say goodbye to your therapist can be a daunting task. Clients are often unsure as to what the end of therapy should entail. To make matter worse, the end of therapy is known in ‘therapist-speak’ as “termination”.

Termination is a rather obtuse term, one that for most of use doesn’t have positive connotations (it’s the same word we use for getting fired from our jobs). Plus most people, myself included, find it difficult to say goodbye, even when we are ready to leave. Although, it can be frightening since it involves change, termination really is ' like the light at the end of the tunnel'. When you do say goodbye to your therapist, although you will be ending one chapter in your life, you will be opening the door on a new chapter, one where you feel strong and function just fine on your own thank-you-very-much, without the weekly or biweekly check-ins with your therapist. The end of therapy is just as important as the beginning.

Some clients enter therapy knowing exactly what they want. They desire a brief solution focused approach and definitely know how long they expect reaching their goals to take. Other people are more process oriented and prefer to develop a long term (several months to a year) therapeutic relationship. With both of these approaches to therapy, however termination is eventually inevitable.

Clinical literature on the therapeutic relationship defines termination as an ethical and clinically appropriate end to a professional relationship (Youngren and Gottlieb in Davis, 2008). A good therapist should discuss with you at the very beginning of therapy what your expectations are regarding this important aspect to your work together.

After all, the therapeutic relationship is one of the few relationships where do you have more control as to how, when and for how long the relationship lasts. The frequency, duration and amount of time you expect to work with your therapist in order to reach your goals should be discussed as an element of designing your treatment plan (therapist-speak for what you want to get out therapy and the manner in which you will do so). A well defined treatment plan helps your therapist select interventions that are the most appropriately suited to your needs and goals as well as the amount of time you have together. When you feel in control and understand the expected framework or boundaries in therapy, trust develops and you can be more open with your therapist.

So, no matter which phase of the therapeutic relationship you are in now with your therapist, or if you are just considering entering into therapy, talk with your therapist about what your expectations are regarding the duration of your work together. If you don’t know, that’s okay. Your therapist should be able to openly and honestly discuss termination and answer any questions you might have about the process, including feelings that might accompany saying goodbye, what happens to your clinical record, and how your relationship with your therapist changes after you are no longer formally participating in therapy. This way when it is time for your relationship to come to an end, you can do so consciously, and feel you have reached a positive conclusion to all of the challenging emotional work you have been doing.

Re-examining Art Therapy as a Counter Terrrorism Measure

2009-12-30T11:45:00.000-08:00

In the past few days the blog-o-sphere and social media sites such as Twitter have been lit up with posts making fun of "art therapy summer camp rehab for terrorists" after the media learned that the bombing suspect on Northwest Airlines Flight 253, 23 year old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, had ties to former Guantanamo bay prisoners released into a Saudi Arabian rehabilitation facility for terrorists where art therapy was utilized. All day yesterday on Twitter, I had to be mindful of my reaction as I saw posts like "misdirection with markers" and "let's call it waterfalling...that's artsy". Probably one of the most ridiculous posts I came across qualified acts of terrorism as artistic.

Admittedly, I was pissed.

Before posting irreverent comments on the validity of a particular therapeutic modality and contributing to the stigma against mental illness, mental health treatment, and anti Muslim propaganda, I would hope U. S. citizens would more thoughtfully examine the issue at hand. My intention with this blog post is to examine those issues here:

The released Gitmo prisoners had been incarated for 7 years. They participated in the Saudi Arabian rehabilitation program for a period of less than 24 months. Muhamed al-Awfi, one of the released prisoners, along with other al Queda members allegedly prepared Abdulmutallab for his suicide mission aboard Flight 253.

Before discrediting the validity of art therapy as a particular modality in rehabilitating terrorists, I would invite consideration that ANY therapy is unlikely to wipe out years of indoctrination.

Treating terrorism as a psychiatric problem is a relatively new phenomenon. None of the media sources I have encountered offered evidence based therapies that are effective in the rehabilitation of terrorists as a counter point to the art therapy rehabilitation program that is touted as ineffective.

There is no diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV-TR) specifically addressing the psychological profile of a terrorist. Acts of terror are misanthropic. Can the psychological community as a whole (including art therapists) be sure that it is something that can be “treated” or “cured” with therapy? I don't know. Success in therapy is difficult to measure, as the individuals who recover from pathology are not the ones who are walking into the therapist's office for treatment, as terrorists whom are successfully rehabilitated are not the ones detonating bombs.

Unfortunately, very little attention is given to former extremists, such as Juma al-Dorrsary who was held at Guantanamo for nearly 6 years before his release into the Saudia Arabian rehabilitation program. Al-Dorrsary states that the Saudi rehabilitation program helped him move away from extremist beliefs and the rare episodes of kindness from the guards at Guantanamo bay helped keep his faith in humanity. He is now living in his home nation of Saudi Arabia with his wife and newborn son.

Another misleading apect of the recent coverage of "terrorist art therapy rehab" is that much of the news media have adopted the perspective that these grown men, as seen here on ABC news footage, were given crayons and told to go play, making it sound like thier rehabilitation was appropriate for a kindergarten classroom. Dr. Cathi Malchiodi, Art Therapist and Art Therapy Researcher, wrote an article earlier this year for Psychology Today that more thoroughly examines the use of art therapy for the rehabilitation of Jihadists.

Art Therapy has been effective in treating IRAQ war veterans with PTSD , as well as helping Iraqi children safely express their feelings surrounding the turmoil in their country. The Combat Paper project helps to facilitate the transition to to civilian life and safely processing feelings of trauma for war veterans by transforming the soldiers uniforms worn in combat into works of art.

Art Therapy is a highly effective method of trauma treatment as it elicits recall from the non verbal side of the brain where traumatic memories are stored. Art Therapy addresses the aspect of an effective multicultural approach to therapy and rehabilitation as it by passes verbal limitations and language barriers. These two aspects of art therapy are what has made it so effective in addressing the effects of war in the above examples.

Although related, rehabilitation for the above populations is probably very different than for former Jihadists. And yes we cannot be sure that rehabilitation using art therapy is effective. Obviously in the case of Flight 253 it was not. However, that does not mean that art therapy itself is to blame, since it was only one of many components of the Saudi rehabilitation program, or that art therapy should be completely disregarded as an ineffective counter terrorism measure.

Perhaps programs like School Partners in Iraq help to fill the void for children seeking a sense of meaning and belonging in a hot, foreign land with conflicts nearly as old as humanity itself. Looking at Abdulmutallab's blog posts, we can see that is something that he was searching for as well as he struggled between more liberal and extremist Muslim points of view.

I am not saying I don't believe in imprisonment or that I think Guantanmo bay should be closed, that's another issue entirely. However, there are 1.2 billion Muslims in the world. Of those a very small percentage hold extremest viewpoints. Violence begets violence. I am of the opinion that torture and imprisonment without an option of a military trial, irreverent one sided blog posts, and using social media as a tool for cyber bullying feeds the fire of Western hatred. Rehabilitation and treating the terrorist as a psychologically unhealthy person with the potential for change is one alternative in the process of discovering peaceful approaches to counter terrorism.

The 2009 American Art Therapy Association Conference: A Visual Diary

2009-11-24T15:51:00.000-08:00

Just before Thanksgiving I had the opportunity to attend the American Art Therapy Association's annual conference in Dallas, Texas. From the time I arrived on Wednesday evening until the time I said goodbye on Sunday afternoon, I experienced the thrill of learning from and connecting with like minded professionals. Below is an image of me making a holiday card for our troops overseas...

The atmosphere was frenetic; the creative energy in the air was palpable. I had the intention of tweeting and blogging my experiences in real time, to share with others, but alas the I was so inundated with great information, the only thing I could do at the time was sit back and try to soak up as much of it as a I could.

I wondered what would be the most efficient way to document and share my experience. {Insert flash of brilliance here} “Ah-ha!”, I thought, I will create a visual diary of my art therapy conference experience. What could possibly be better medium for an art therapist to communicate than a visual one? And as the cliche goes, a picture does say a thousand words ...

Every day from about 8am until 5pm, there were a variety of workshops and lectures offered. Some of my favorites included:

* learning about the Sanctuary Model of treatment to address adolescent trauma and support a client with a history of cruelty to animals by Rebecca Beers-Miller, MA, ATR-BC, LCAT, CCLS

* a presentation by Christopher Belkofer, MAAT, LCPC, ATR, entitled" The Changing Brain: Applying Clinical Neuroscience Approaches to Expressive Therapy Interventions in Residential Care" where an EEG measures were used to observe the effects various art materials have on the brain.

* Cathy Malchiodi, PhD, LPAT, LPCC, ATR-BC in panel on Independent Art Therapy Practice along with my graduate program director P. Gussie Klorer, PhD, ATR-BC, LCSW, LCPC, and Donald Cutcher, LCAT, ATR-BC .

*"Transforming Past Mistakes into Future Lessons" with Gretchen Miller, ATR-BC , Nicole Brandstrup, MA, ATR-BC, and Jordan Potash, MA, ATR-BC graciously sharing lessons learned from their clinical experience with adolescents in art therapy.

* My office mate, Sibel Ozer, LPC, ATR sharing her clinical observations on varied client responses to the interchangeable use of Art Therapy, Sand Play, and EMDR.

In between presentations I snuck away to the Open Studio to find some time for quiet reflection. An Open Studio is described in art therapy literature as a supervised studio setting where participants are treated as artists capable of choosing their own themes and materials instead of clients who are restricted to specific materials and given a directive. Open studio participants are taught how to use art as a safe, yet powerful tool for personal expression and self understanding.

My open studio work consisted of personalizing my new sketchbook. Here we see images of art therapists at work in the open studio, and before and after shots of my sketchbook.

Another highlight of the conference included the Artist Market, which allowed art therapists to showcase their creative talents, offering handmade jewelry, artwork, scarves and many other beautiful items. Above we see Altered Dominoes for sale to benefit the Art Therapy Alliance and the International Art Therapy Organization.

The conference organizers had the ingenious notion to hold the conference proceedings in Dallas Fine Arts District. Here is a shot of me outside the Dallas Museum of Art. "Life imitates art"...

A sketch of a life size wooden sculpture of the Hindu Goddess Durgha riding a tiger, symbolizing her reverence as a protector of mankind from evil forces. I sketched Durgha one evening at the art museum when I was feeling fatigued. I felt much better after the 45 minute sketch, perhaps I was able to absorb some of Durgha's strength?

In addition to drawing on my own, I participated in some collaborative drawings with Art Therapist Lee Ann Thills. Lee Ann shares the results of our collaboration and her experience here.

And lastly, an image of one third of a giant mosaic mural outside the Dallas Museum of Fine arts. The mural, entitled "Genesis" is an allegorical representation of the creation of life on our planet. Originally constructed in the 1950's it was a gift from Mexico and had to be transported and reconstructed where it stands today in Dallas.

It's huge! I can't imagine the work involved in its original construction, much less deconstruction and reassembly. Learn more about the mural and see additional images here.

In short, my time at the 2009 American Art Therapy Conference was simply amazing. Every time I attend the conference I come away with more respect for the field of art therapy and the dedication of its professionals. For me the image of the Genesis mural is fitting way to close this post as I feel like my entry to this creative and amazing field is just beginning. Any contributions I might be able to make will involve hard work and cannot be accomplished alone. In the end hopefully the pieces will fit together in a way that makes something beautiful.

The Multiple Benefits of Art Therapy for Children and Families Facing Divorce

2009-11-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

Art therapy emerged as a mental health discipline in the mid 20th century, out of the fields of human development and education, psychotherapy, and the visual arts. The American Art Therapy Association (AATA) defines art therapy employing the creative process of art making to improve and enhance the physical, mental and emotional well-being of individuals of all ages with the aim of resolving conflicts and problems, developing interpersonal skills, managing behavior, reducing stress, and increasing self-esteem and self-awareness.

Art Therapy is used with a variety of populations. This article examines some of the emotional, physical, cognitive, and social benefits for children and families affected by divorce and separation.

Emotional:

Children have always used art and play spontaneously as a means of coping with stressors beyond their control. As adults, we may find it more difficult to engage in the creative process so freely. But when we do, we are assuming an active role rather than a passive one over our experience.

Divorce and separation are one of the most significant stressors an individual can experience in his or her lifetime. When you make art in relation these stressors, you are practicing the exertion of mastery over an experience that may be otherwise difficult to assimilate. This active response is empowering as it increases your internal locus of control, hopefully providing a realization that you have a choice as to how you relate to your current circumstances. Having choices is empowering! Such boosts our self –esteem and self confidence.

Physical:

In August 2009, in the New York Times highlighted the effects of divorce and separation physical health, citing research where persons who have recently experienced a significant loss, like divorce from or death of a spouse, report a 20% increase in chronic health problems. The article postulated that the stress of divorce and other traumatic losses can lower a person’s immune response.

Although research on the physical benefits of art therapy is still in the preliminary phase, some of the documented benefits of art making include reduction in fatigue, depression, anxiety, pain, and stress. By lowering stress and anxiety, art therapy may even serve to boost a person’s immune response, and thus combat the suppressed immune response that may accompany divorce.

Cognitive:

Art-imagery, especially when created in a therapeutic setting, can provide diagnostic information. However, it is important to remember that imagery is idiosyncratic and it is virtually impossible to diagnosis a person from one piece of art. Parents and caregivers of young children should not infer anything about a piece of art that its creator is not verbally supporting. Still, art making can provide a glimpse into a child’s inner world and serve as a lens to help understand their point of view. Art-making is important communication tool for persons of all ages with verbal limitations or resistance.

The advent of technologies that able researchers to better understand the brain’s process has provided more than anecdotal evidence of art therapy’s cognitive benefits. Research demonstrates that traumatic memories are stored in the right hemisphere of the brain, while our verbal capacity is controlled by the left hemisphere of the brain. Art making can promote communication across the two hemispheres of the brain so that a person who has experienced a trauma is better able to verbally articulate their experience after expressing themselves through art making.

Social:

Group art therapy can help to provide an opportunity for persons who are experiencing the challenges of divorce to socialize as well as provide a safe outlet for self-expression. Art therapy in a group setting may help families that are coping with the divorce and separation process to understand thier feelings and problems are not unique; replacing a sense of isolation with connectedness. Psychiatrist Irving Yalom’s curative factors of groups, the installation of hope, interaction, universality, catharsis, and altruism, may be readily applied to the setting of group art therapy with children and families affected by divorce.

The multiple benefits of art therapy are a frontier that still needs to be explored by those who lives are touched by divorce and separation. For more information on this topic please visit the American Art Therapy Association, http://www.arttherapy.org/.

The Art of Connection

2009-10-13T11:25:00.000-07:00

Today I finished painting my fourth Matryoshka doll. The doll is light blue with reddish orange poppies and a female face. You can see the preliminary sketch I did for this doll a few months ago in a previous post.

Poppies and deer have been overwhelmingly present in my artwork of late. Though I have yet to fully decipher their meaning, I do know that for me, especially with regard to this most recent incarnation of Matryoshka, poppies are about connection. My fourth doll is about our Art Full Self in Connection with Others. Who would we be without our connections? Family, professional community, friends: these relationships both define who we are and who we are not. Walden-esque self inquiry is fine and dandy, but sometimes the best self understanding comes from observing how we are with other people.

This month I want to highlight some of my most dear connections. Persons I have had the honor of collaborating with in my personal and professional communities. As an art therapist, I am so lucky to be surrounded by many creative people. I definitely draw strength from my connection with these individuals and organizations.

First off, let me start with one of my oldest and dearest friends, Tiffany Albanese. A new mom, Tiffany found her creative spirit after she began designing and sewing clothes for her daughter. Soon other moms took notice and began requesting Tiffany's boutique dresses for themselves. This spring Tiffany launched her company Posh Principessa featuring all of her lovely hand made designs. The clothes are absolutely adorable - making me wish I both had a child and knew how to sew!

Tiffany and I had the chance to collaborate when she asked me to draw a family her daughter, Ava, could color. Tiffany then turned the drawing into fabric and created a lovely dress you can see here. Tiffany and I grew up together in a small town in Missouri. Now, that I live in Denver, Colorado and we are several states apart, its wonderful that we can bridge that distance by collaborating.

Next I'd like to introduce a more recent professional connection, Gretchen Miller ATR-BC. Gretchen is an art therapist living and working in Ohio. She is the President of the Buckeye Art Therapy Association and the web master/creator of the Art Therapy Alliance.

Gretchen and I first became acquainted on Twitter earlier this year. Since then she has been so supportive of my practice building efforts at Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co - retweeting my posts, featuring my work on the Art Therapy Alliance website, and inviting me to participate in the ultimate online collaborative art project about Peace and Sustainability with "jedi" of art therapy Cathi Malchiodi. Though we have yet to meet in person (hopefully we will at this years AATA conference), Gretchen truly understands the art of connection and works hard to weave a wonderful web of art therapy professionals nationally and online.

Of course, was it not for my connection with the lovely Ms. Gini Dietrich, I may have never understood the power of Twitter itself in fostering and strengthening connections. I met Gini five years ago, while on one of the first dates with my now husband. Since then Gini has become both a mentor and a friend. As the CEO of Arment Dietrich Inc, a Chicago based PR firm, Gini is a mastermind of the art of connection. I didn't even know what public relations was before I met Gini, but now five years later, by watching her and doing what she does, I've been able to incorporate some sound professional practices into my business. From my connection with Gini, I learn about elegant tenacity.

Lastly, I need to recognize my connection with my artist friend Leslie Nicholos (Reuther). Leslie and I became close when I was living in St. Louis. From my connection with Leslie, I am able to learn about beauty and patience, two qualities Leslie's work most certainly embodies. Sometimes I find the balance between my Art/ Therapist self gets out of whack, and I forget how integral art making is to facilitate my being a compassionate and present therapist. When I sit with myself and my images, I am so much better able to understand my client's image making process. Connecting with Leslie, and seeing how she is so compassionate and present and makes time to find herself in that way through her art making reminds me to do so as well. You can view Leslie and her husband Mike's artwork here.

So, connection....you might notice there are several links in this post. I figured since we are on the topic of connection, such is apropos. You also might notice that all of these wonderful connections are located in different parts of the country! Technology is certainly changing how we define the art of connection. I don't think that's a bad thing.

What about you? How do you connect with others? Do these interpersonal connections inform your sense of self? Why or why not?

Trust and Abundance

2009-08-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

Today we worked in the garden. We harvested a zillion tomatoes of several varieties (not an exaggeration), zucchini, yellow squash, red and gold beets, parsley, lettuce, and jalapenos. Next with our neighbors, we set to work canning salsa, spaghetti sauce, and roasting vegetables. I'm not much of a cook, but I found this process helped me to feel relaxed while also meeting my creative needs. Sharing the fruits of our labor -literally- with our neighbors was a great way to foster community. This was our first year for a garden - to those of you who have yet to try a home garden, I highly recommend it.

As I worked I thought about how much I love this time of year... harvest time. I also reflected on one of my earlier posts about "New Growth: A Right Brained Business Plan", where I had used art therapy as a form of self care and draft the direction I wanted to take my private practice. In that post I had drawn the analogy of starting something new (in this case a business) to scattering seeds.

Now with today's work in the garden I observed a parallel process to the harvest we were reaping with the many professional opportunities I was afforded this month. Admittedly this is an 11th hour blog post in my deadline to complete one blog entry a month. (The month end is in two days.) But that is because this month has been so busy (say B-I-ZZZZZ-I-EEE)!

Some of the highlights include: I was able to meet with a local psychotherapist practice group earlier this week as the guest speaker and presented on "Using Art in Therapy: Guidelines for Mental Health Clinicians". I felt really blessed to share knowledge of my field. Plus I met several compassionate and hardworking therapists, and I felt like my presentation was well received. If you would like to view the power point from my presentation please follow this link.

In addition I was able to attend a two day training on the Family Preservation Model, which is effective in supporting families with children who are at risk for out-of-home placement when concerns related to Dependency and Neglect are present. This is a family centered, strength based model, that allows the therapist to work with the family in their own home. Many other small blessings took place as well, I lost my wallet, only to miraculously find it a block from my home untouched, I had some real therapeutic breakthroughs with some of my clients, and was able to enjoy a visit from my family.

Canning and chopping in the kitchen today, I had several ideas. One is that "the earth is my canvas", and how much I enjoy gardening. For a while after finishing art school, I felt guilty if I was doing something creative but that didn't result in a tangible art product. Now as an art therapist I am able to appreciate the creative process itself, no matter through which medium (gardening, painting, helping others in an art therapy session) it is emerging.

Second I thought about "trust and abundance". How fortunate I am to share in this 'organic' healthy bounty that we grew ourselves! How beautiful and crazy it is that these things called plants and vegetables soak up sun and water and grow from a tiny seed into a huge squash!?! And then we pick it and eat it and are afforded all of the nutrients from the sun and the water too! That's connection.

Watching the garden grow from just tiny seeds and sprouts this summer helped me to trust. In our daily lives we are planting seeds all the time and trust that though we are uncertain as to the exact result, eventually with patience we will have something tangible - and hopefully yummy. On those rare occasions, when everything has come together that season, we are rewarded with abundance - mountains of harvest, so much we have nothing to do but share.

Who is your Art Full Self?

2009-07-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I received my first batch of unfinished Matryoshka dolls, for the Art Full Self Workshop that Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co. is facilitating in November through the Mizel Museum, arrived in the mail. They were so beautiful in their unfinished form, I'll admit I was somewhat intimidated to paint them. Here they are on a shelf in my studio.

In case you are wondering , the painting behind the dolls is a self-portrait my mother did when she was in college. It's a great painting. I have a nice collection of family art in my studio, pieces from my great uncle, my grandmother, and my mom. I recommend folks start their own family art collection - its a different but nice way to experience your family. Alas, that's fodder for an entire separate blog post....

So I've begun working on my sample set Matryoshka dolls. Part of being an Art Therapist is familiarity with art making materials and an understanding of feelings and processes inherent in making things. I can't teach a workshop in self exploration if I haven't engaged in such myself, thus the "practice run" of creating Art Full Self Martroyshka dolls.

I was so eager to try out the paints on the wooden surface of the dolls, that I approached the first doll cold without any preliminary sketches. I am ordinarily such a planner, so for me to act spontaneously in this manner was actually, well, therapeutic. I chose the smallest, innermost doll. I felt I should illustrate something elemental as an expression of this inner most part of myself. I thought about outer space, the universe and the millions of stars in the night sky, and how when I stand below them I feel inconsequential but strangely happy, connected and comforted at the same time. Below is an image of my inner most little guy. As I finished him/her, (is our inner most self gendered?), I thought about a line from my favorite spiritual prayer/poem, the Desiderata: "You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and stars, you have a right to be here".

A few weeks later I began sketching my ideas for the second doll. For some reason, I have been especially aware of poppies lately. I remember Art Therapist Cathi Malchidoi mentioning in her book, The Soul's Palette, how for a period of time she was surrounded by imagery of crows. She would create crows in her work and see them frequently her in daily life. It is the same with me and the poppies lately, and I am still searching for what they are trying to tell me.

Because of the manner in which I have encountered the poppies, I am beginning to think their message to me is related to "the Self in connection to others". Who are we without our connections? Our family? Our friends? Our professional communities? This inner dialogue is still evolving for me, so I'm not going to comment about it too much today. I am posting the preliminary sketch for the Poppy Field Doll - see below. It will be interesting to see how closely the actual doll replicates the sketches.

I find this whole process tremendously revealing and fun. Solipsistic as it may be,it feels good to discover who you are. I wonder how other people do this... a thing they do that helps them articulate their identity. Therefore I'll close with some questions for my readers, "What makes you, you?" "What are your strengths?" "Do you use your strengths in a therapeutic capacity, if so, how?" Please share in the comments section of this post - and thanks for reading/participating! Till next time ....erin.

Partnering with the Mizel Museum for ART-FULL SELF Workshop!

2009-06-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

Last month I shared with you the success of our Women's Creative Wellness Workshop pilot where we created "Art Full Self" boxes. Well, this month I am pleased to announce that Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co. is offering the Art Full Self Workshop in its entirity in November 2009, through a partnership with the Mizel Musem in Denver, Colorado.

The Mizel Museum a community organization teaching awareness and respect through Jewish life and culture by providing panel disscussions, workshops, and classses. They also have a lovely gallery space for exhibitions.

Instead of boxes, however, this time we are really going to have fun by using Matryoshka dolls as our medium for self-exploration and in sight - see the following description to learn more.

Workshop Description
In this 5 week workshop we will explore the profound connection between our creativity and our identify through the use of symbols and intuitive/ and intentional painting process. Our vehicle to explore the idea of “Self” will be a set of 5 Matryoshka dolls, or Russian Nesting Dolls. Exploring the concepts of self and identity participants will work to paint their dolls using a combination of collage and acrylic paint techniques. Dolls do not have to be traditional or figurative.

In addition to painting we will spend some time giving each other feedback and examining our own process through journaling and one word poetry responses at the end of each session. Participants are free to continue to use their journals in between classes as a way to provide greater continuity, as place for brainstorming ideas, etc. This workshop will also include inspirational and informative teachings on a variety of symbols from human history that have been used to inform and express “the self” and important related concepts as well as artists who have explored the idea of self and identity in their own work. No prior art experience is needed. Instructor is a trained artist and art therapist and will assist participants both with technical aspects and discovering their own unique perspectives.

***
I am thrilled that we've been given this opportunity! Be sure to check back with us frequently to see "in progress" samples of the nesting dolls as I prepare for the workshop. To register for the workshop please visit http://www.mizelmuseum.org/. Interested participants are welcome to contact me with questions/concerns.

Spring is off to a Running Start!

2009-05-17T09:40:00.000-07:00

So many things have been happening at Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co over the past few weeks. Most recently we held our Free “Pilot” Women’s Creative Wellness Workshop. During the workshop we created “Art Full Self Boxes. Participants seemed to enjoy the process and provided very helpful feedback such as: “I liked ‘warming up’ with drawing—helped me center and relax in a new space”, and “Its great to just be around other women”. Please be on the lookout for a full Women’s Creative Wellness Workshop later this summer.

We also have some wonderful groups beginning in June for teens and school age children. Please visit to learn more and register: http://www.erinbrumleve.com/page7.html

Also, I became an AETNA provider! This means that clients who have AETNA insurance can use such to pay for their art therapy counseling at DATCCO.

With all of the this positive but busy energy happening in my life, its very important I make time for self-care. One way I do this is by running. So I was thrilled when The Fashion Runner BlogSpot invited me to be "Runner of the Week" and share a little bit of my runner self. Check out the post here and my "game face" while finishing the Boulder Backroads Half Marathon a few years ago:

http://thefashionablerunner.blogspot.com/2009/05/runner-of-week-erin-brumleve.html

I hope all of you are taking the time for self care this spring, in whatever form it appeals to you. Keeping this post short - as I'm taking my bike out with a goal of 30 miles this morning!

:) erin

On Wanting

2009-04-02T09:47:00.001-07:00

One of the reasons I am glad I became a therapist is that the experience has afforded me the opportunity to closely examine and hopefully better understand the nature of desire and suffering, both my own and that of others. By desire, in this sense, I'm not just referring to sexual desire, though that is a part of it, but a more encompassing definition of wanting - whether it be that extra cookie, a pricey pair of shoes that you purchase with your rent money, a relationship that is ethically and morally off limits, or a peak experience that you wish would never end. In other words a desire that turns into an attachment, which in turn leads to suffering. You get the idea. I don't really call myself a Buddhist, but I do try to be mindful, and I find that some of the secular principles of psychological health find strong parallels and a nice spiritual home in Buddhist traditions.

My most recent painting is about wanting. It's after Johannes Vermeer's "Girl with a Pearl Earring". I've seen the movie and the painting is based on that too. I'm not sure if its a precognitive painting per say. But life does have a funny way of providing experiences and situations that tend to bring me face to face with the emotions I am either unconsciously or at a non verbal level articulating at the time I am painting.

I went skiing by myself in Arapahoe Basin the other weekend. I was really looking forward to the quiet beauty of the mountains. After a few runs, however, I was very aware of my aloneness.
Perhaps it was because the conditions were not ideal - a little too cold, windy, the kind of weather that makes one very conscious of their own mortality - especially at 12, 000 feet.
Or perhaps it was because as I have mentioned in this blog before, I am still finding my way in my work as a therapist in private practice, an experience that though fulfilling can be lonely sometimes.

A short while thereafter, I met some really fun smart people on the slopes and had a lovely day. It was exactly what I needed. On top of the world in good company, far away from the minutia of my daily grind. No problems there right? Right. No problems until on the way home where I felt a gut wrenching sadness that the experience was over and I had to return to the uncertainties of my life. I clung to this moment all the next day as I faced the more dreary tasks of my work day. The clinging fostered procrastination - and I dilly dallied on the less preferable aspects of my job: filling out tax and insurance forms. I had become like Goethe's Faust when he makes his pact with the Devil:

"If ever to the moment I shall say,
Beautiful moment, do not pass away!
Then you may forge your chains to bind me,
Then I will put my life behind me.... "

By Monday evening, I became aware of my "clinging" and picked up my go-to book for when I am caught up in an undertow of wanting: Mark Epstein's Open to Desire , a foundational book for passionate people. Epstein is a New York based psychiatrist in private practice who frequently lectures on the merits of Buddhist practices as a component of psychotherapy. In the book Epstein advocates that rather than renounce or shame our desires, we instead place desire in the role of a teacher. When we observe ourselves not wanting to let of an experience, instead of chasing that satisfaction in a consuming fashion, we need to "learn to work with the separation inherent in the the process of desiring".

Its funny how just becoming aware of the clinging gives you permission to let it go. After perusing my dog-earred pages of Open to Desire, I felt more at peace. I realized that it wasn't the ski slope experience that I was clinging to so much as the clarity of living I had in that moment. It feels good to want things, wanting is not a bad thing, nor is wanting to want.

I think too, in addition to cultivating awareness around clinging or wanting states as they arise, its wise to have lots of areas in which to channel one's desires constructively. Identifying these channels will most likely take some soul searching as they will be as idiosyncratic as each of us. For me, desire finds its healthy wavelength in the activities of art making, my profession as an art psychotherapist, yoga, and running.

With yoga as well as running, desire is transformed into moving with intention and thus paradoxically seems to cultivate mindfulness. I really enjoy how focused I feel when I am practicing yoga, all of my desires focused on one point, measured by my breath. In running, well, I'll just hint at a t-shirt that I'm working on making with the following slogan: "Ask me about my demons, I'm trying to outrun".

And finally art as therapy. Art making is wonderful for exposing the "gap" that desire creates as cited by Epstein. Most of the time, the picture in my head is not exactly like the one that is actualized in a finished painting, and as such I must confront the gap that exists between my creative intention and the end product. Epstein states that clinging arises from searching outside ourselves for wholeness - again, the nice thing with art making is that one goes within one's self to find an answer. And even then, sitting alone, painting, I can maybe see the answer from time to time, but I can never articulate it as clearly as I can experience it to myself. This is what is known as the "incommunicado element", as termed by pediatrician and psychologist Donald Winnicot, and reiterated by Epstein. They also refer the incommunicado element as sacred - which I like.

Its been a week now since my post skiing blues last Monday. Reflecting on the tenacity with which wanting held me last week, I am amazed to remember feeling so compulsive. Another lesson with desire - it fades. Today too though, I saw and felt my fair share of wanting. I was wrought with frustration earlier related to paperwork. Rather than grinding that to an unpleasant conclusion, I thought, "Oh yes, I can work on my blog!". And even now - wanting to end this post with some sort of epiphany - wanting to write the perfect blog post on wanting - I will take Epstein's advice to heart and just...let...it...go...

New Growth: A "Right Brained Buisiness Plan"

2009-03-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

Its wonderfully synchronistic that today, on the first day of Spring, our discussion centers on "new growth":

When I first began searching for a niche for my art therapy counseling practice I felt very wide open. Actually I felt more like I had just fallen off of a cliff. I nearly exhausted myself from investigating any avenue that seemed even remotely viable and worrying if such was worth the time and effort. I felt unfocused and that concerned perhaps I was spreading myself too thin.

While sitting in a coffee shop, attempting to subdue my anxiety with caffeine and sugar (Does that really ever have the desired effect?) I created the image above in my sketch book/planner. It is a small planter with grass-lings just beginning to emerge from the surface. A cross section of the planter is cut away to reveal the seeds that have begun to germinate below. Similar to other experiences when I think in images, I had to sit with the grass-ling image for a minute of two before I was able to verbally articulate what was going on. I soon realized the image was a "right brained person's business plan" and an attempt to define my burgeoning practice.

Oh lovely serendipity! Here is the definition dicitionary.com has for "burgeoning":

"To put forth new buds, leaves, or greenery; sprout.
To begin to grow or blossom.
To grow or develop rapidly. "

Each of the little seeds corresponds with a particular avenue I am investigating as a possible partner or population for Denver Art Therapy Counseling Co. After I drew the image I felt much better. It dawned on me that of course my process should be very exploratory in the beginning and I will probably plant many more seeds than will result in actual viable plant, i.e., opportunities, clients, jobs, etc. In fact, contary to my initial fear of spreading myself to thin, it is wise to plant a bunch of seeds, as at the moment I am unable to tell which seeds will receive the right amount of water and sunlight to develop into a mature plant - ie, a viable opportunity. As I was thinking this I added the sun, representing those external elemental factors outside of my control. I just plant the seeds.

So at this moment, I am exactly where I need to be. Until recently the majority of the action has been hidden below the surface like the germinating seeds. A very wise mentor of mine articulated this well when I was essentially whining to her about the laborious process of cultivating a client base. She recommended that for this first year I focus on cultivating my brand identity and making connections, literally laying down deep roots for a fruitful practice. How naive of me to expect plants to magically emerge without first establishing roots!

A few of my investments/ seeds have just begun to be visible above the surface of the soil, and have resulted in monetary gain,(green grass, green money). At this point it, it is still difficult to tell which ones will be the most suitable opportunity for my interests and abilities. I am noticing however, that I am already putting more energy into the grass-lings that seem best suited to me as they come up (the water canister). Eventually there will come a time I need to prune the plant, and cease investing energy and resources in some grass-lings in order to focus more resources on other so that they may grow even taller.

Given the upheaval in the economy as of late, I would recommend that job seekers consider their own job search process in a manner similar to how I am approaching growing my practice. For some of the unemployed who have begun to look for work in other fields, such a shift in identity is likely overwhelming. I encourage said persons to embrace this transition time, and sow many seeds, understanding that not all of them will take root and sprout. Again, going back to the metaphor of nature, I reflect on spring and fall. They are the in between seasons, marking the transition between cold and heat, light and dark. To me, they are undoubtedly the most exciting. They are seasons of harvest and new growth.

(Note: I created and synthesized my image before I heard of the term "right brained business plan". I am applying the term to my process as it is completely apropos, but I need to give credit to www.artizencoaching.com for helping me to find the words. I encourage job seekers and creative entrepreneurs to check out this site for a unique approach to cultivating your best life.)

Small Art Contains Big Grief

2009-02-15T11:42:00.000-08:00

There is something about coming home to Missouri that tends to generate a decent amount of blog fodder for me. Perhaps it is because until just a few years ago this was my physical home and is still is in many ways my emotional center. Truthfully friends, the purpose of this post is a selfish one indeed - I am not sure where else to put my grief. For now, out in the infinite space of the nebulous Internet ether seems appropriate enough, with its vastness and combination of obscurity and public-ness that is simultaneously able to hold on display and hide my feelings.

I am also not sure how much is even an appropriate amount to grieve. I am tired of grieving already and I have yet to even attend my grandmother's funeral. I am selfishly worried about crying and making a mess of myself. That to me seems like a silly worry compared to you know - dying!

I am an art therapist and counselor - so is it best to feel and acknowledge these feelings, blog about them, paint, etc? Or is it best to set them aside and get somethings done? I find a lot of reasons to procrastinate and grieving could easily become one of them. Perhaps the reader will find comfort in my confusion _ knowing its okay to not know _ or in my ambiguity _ all the feelings, all at once, tangled up like a big ball of yarn for the cat of the universe to paw around.

My grandmother on my step-father's side, Geraldine, passed away from melanoma cancer on Tuesday of this week. She was 86 years old. She was fortunate to surrounded by her friends and family. My step-father, whose grief is profound, is sad. I feel his grief like a ton of bricks. And yet he is also so sure - he faith is a rock for him. I am envious of his conviction.

I feel the grief of my mother, sandwiched in between "being there" for her husband, providing care for her own mother, listening to me whine about the ills of my biological father. I hope she is able to negotiate time for her own feelings.

My lens also turns to my husband - who is so solid and supportive for me. He was strong enough to hold up my biological father who had a seizure in the Kroger parking lot yesterday.

Oh goodness, was yesterday a heavy day. With all of the grieving, and stress and surprise of my dad Wayne's seizure, eesssh - and then it was Valentine's Day too! I found it really funny and sad that after giving up our tickets to a play by a friend in Denver, Co, Harry and I were in Warrenton in Kentucky Fried Chicken on Valentine's day with my father who is suffering from dementia and epilepsy. He has seizures where he loses motor control. I don't know much about what is going on with him really. I need to learn more. His gift to me is a lesson in what not to do as far as care for one's own person - ie, not drinking to excess and not smoking at all.

What else? Grief is a discombobulating experience. It makes you tired. Or me tired anyway. Things slow down. Food doesn't taste good. One's "To do" list seems like less of an imperative.

In November, when we knew my grandmother was dying I picked up "On Grief and Grieving" by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. I was considering getting into hospice work, so I wanted to learn more about grief from a professional prospective, and also because I knew this day would come and I wanted to prepare myself - what is known as anticipatory grief. Its a good resource and enumerates much more what I've touched on briefly here. I also recommend http://grief.com/, a wonderful website by David Kessler with FAQ's about the grieving process.

I have to finish this post and go get ready for the wake. Just thinking about it causes a lump to rise in my throat. I will say that all of these awkward logistics - and silly words to try and capture them in no way do my grandmother or anyone's life really, justice. Just one humans way of trying to capture a sliver even of that which is completely un-capture-able. My grandmother was an absolutely fabulous dancer, as was the fashion of folks who grew up in the WWII era. A while ago I gave her some paintings of ballerinas I did - see above image. She hung them in her bedroom. I like to think of her like those ballerinas now - dancing up a storm in heaven. Looking at art can be therapy as well.

After the wake and funeral ....

Home now. Assimilating all that transpired while I was in Missouri. My aunt gave me back the above pictures - as is customary to retrun gifts given to the deceased person. The paintings were in my grandmother's bedroom with her when she died. Knowing that brings me comfort. The paintings though small, are large enough, strong enough, to hold a great deal of my grief feelings as well as cherished memories of my grandmother. Tiny like my grandmother as she gracefully bore the burden of her grief, her children's grief, as she approached the end of her life.

The ritual of morning was comforting as well. My step-father gave a heart-felt eulogy full of gratitude. I helped make the funeral programs. We all went out to the military cemetary to bury my grandmother in the horribly cold and windy Missouri winter weather. Afterwards, we came back and ate our fair share of comfort food cooked by the little old church ladies. That evening, I was exhausted from grief. The next day however, I felt tremendously lighter.

Still, I find it hard to believe my grandmother is physically not here anymore. I feel her spirit though, caught on a breeze while running in the sunshine, while eating a candied orange slice like the ones she kept always available in the fancy dish on her coffee table, in the tap of dance shoes on a hardwood floor ...

Confidence is a Muscle

2009-01-26T08:42:00.000-08:00

Ironically, while on the treadmill this morning, I had a little blip of inspiration. Believe me I got really excited, thinking "Oooh, that would be a great thing to blog about"! So here goes...

I thought: "Confidence is a muscle". I was running and ruminating about launching a successful practice, the courage it took to leave my job - even in this economy - and how since having done so little instances have come up where supportive friends have asked me thoughtful questions related to art therapy and what I do. And how, each time I explain my knowledge base, I become more confident in my identity as a competent professional art psychotherapist. It occurred to me that I was "flexing" my confidence muscles.

I have always enjoyed sports and exercise. I've never been afraid of difficult physical work and have readily understood and adopted a training regiment to accomplish my goals. Doing difficult emotional work, now that is another story - even for me, a therapist, someone who is suppose to excel at understanding emotions.

When I reconceptualize doing difficult emotional work as "training" as an athlete would for a race, it makes it a lot less scary - somehow more tangible and familiar. I ran my first marathon this past October in Chicago. It was an absolutely exhilarating and simultaneously grueling experience. There was no way I could have done accomplished that goal without proper training and the support of my fabulous running group, Runner's Edge of the Rockies.

Is cognition and confidence building really that different, I wondered? It too, takes practice. One of my best girlfriends, with whom I trained for the marathon, puts its succinctly, she says "Train your Brain". As I finished my miles on the treadmill this morning, moving past the 2/3 mark which I personally find the most tedious, I decided to dedicate each remaining tenth of a mile to something or someone, hoping to draw inspiration from their confidence and courage to carry me through the rest of my day.

I dedicated miles 4.7- 4.8 to my 83 year old grandmother who is battling Stage Five Melanoma. I thought about how she is living out her remaining days so gracefully. Her spirit is so solid, even as her body weakens. She is making the most of her last days on this earth and is confidently facing the ultimate unknown: death. My grandmother's experience really deserves its own post - more to come on that one.

I then dedicated miles 4.8-4.9 to my husband, who has been incredibly supportive to me on my professional journey ever since we met in graduate school. And then miles 4.9-5.0 I dedicated to myself! I practice some positive self talk and visualized what I wanted to get done for the day to move forward and gain momentum. I made a decision that in addition to my running training schedule, I would adopt a confidence building training schedule where I would try new things each day and break through old habits and worn out fears. I'm getting stronger by the minute.

Note: While writing this post today I goggled "Confidence is a Muscle". I found the following link with a mixture of validation (Yay! I was right and this is a good idea) and disappointment (Darn, nothing is new). I am in no way personally or professionally affiliated with this gentleman, but I did want to credit him as we seem to be on the same wavelength today http://theconfidenceguyonline.com/2008/09/3-keys-finding-confidence/

On process, product, and self-care

2009-01-21T09:14:00.000-08:00

Goodness, I have been working on this painting forever - I started it in August of 2007! I wish I had other images to share of its earlier incarnations. I decided to photograph it and share it with you now for several reasons. First, I wanted to get myself and my audience thinking about the importance of process. Secondly, to advocate for the value of self-care for therapists and all service oriented professionals really. And finally I think posting the piece will help me finish it!

"Process" is such a therapy word. I have enjoyed languishing in the process oriented structure of this painting. I've painted over things, added several layers, given it many titles, or rather eaten a lot of fortune cookies to draw inspiration for my titles. I like the idea of finding meaning in randomness and will often pair fortune cookie sayings with paintings as titles. Its all quite silly, I know.

In my personal and professional life, I have been going through a lot of changes and I think the "grasping for significance in the dark" process of this painting reflects that. This past year held several new experiences: I married my husband, ran a marathon, became an LPC and a ATR, started my own practice. All of which is parallel process to my art making experience at the moment. I tried new techniques in the painting that I hadn't tried before. I chose a bigger surface with which to work than in the past. And I didn't force myself to work on it or put a time limit on when it needed to be finished. I guess that's why in part I am a art therapist - artist....I value process just as much product.

Next the issue of self care. My brain often does not work in words, especially when I am having really strong feelings. Usually an image will come into my mind and then I'll feel the need to externalize it somehow - paint it, draw it, photograph something similar. Only then, after sitting with it outside of myself for a while will the words come. For example with this piece the word "Seele" came to mind. Its a German word that means both soul and psyche. I've interpreted it that the two are inseparable, and I like that I have found a word that encapsulates both. Those Germans, they really have some fabulous words. And then the words change. With a painting, I will look at it one day and say"Oh yes, its about such and such", and then the next time I look at it will be about "such and such and then some". I like the nebulous quality that meaning has in images - you can't pin it down the way you can with words.

Process and self care are great, but sometimes, you just want results. I am feeling that way towards this painting. I want it to be finished. This again parallels my life process, 'Yay for you Erin for starting some new things, now solidify that foundation'. Build a strong counseling practice, marriage, new body of art work.

Sitting in the quiet space I've created for myself by writing today, I vow to do just that.

Art Therapy Resources and Downloads - FREE!

2009-01-19T16:32:00.000-08:00

Hello Blog Friends! I love creating tools as an element of my work as a therapist.
One of my favorite tools to I use is the Problem Solving Comic Strip. A former co-worker of mine, Brita Beyerline, MA, LCSW, came up with this simple but effective way of empowering children to solve their own problems. If you are a teacher or a parent I think you will definately want to take note! The idea is for children follow each step to try and resolve peer conflicts and reduce the frequency of the child automatically running to adult to tattle. For example, this model is appropriate for peer conflicts over a toy. It is not suitable in situations involving immediate danger (see below).

I've listed the steps, known as the 5 Fabulous Problem Solving Steps and then provided a link where you can download the corresponding comic book strip. I've found giving children a visual model of the steps helps them to remember the sequence, so I created Problem Solving Comic Book Strip to help reinforce their learning. Enjoy!

5 Fabulous Problem Solving Steps

1. Calm Down Safely
2. Use your words and Listen.
3. Ignore.
4. Walk or Move Away.
5. Ask an adult you trust for help.

*Make sure the child understands that in a situation where themselves or some one else could get hurt, an adult is to be sought out immediately.

If you are a parent, educator, or mental health professional and have tools that you would like to share, please feel free to post them here as a guest blogger or email them to me at erin@erinbrumleve.com

On reframing anxiety

2008-12-29T21:20:00.000-08:00

Starting my new practice, and quitting my steady job has me feeling alternately excited and ridiculously anxious. Working through this, I came across a really nice blurb on the web about managing anxiety - the context I found it in was for doctoral canidates defending their dissertation, which I can only imagine is extremely anxiety provoking. I've simmered down the article to its essentials that could be applied to a variety of contexts. #2 is my favorite. I am using it to reframe the anxiety I feel at present. Enjoy:

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10 Tips To Manage Anxiety
By Rachna D. Jain, Psy.D.
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1) Practice diaphragmatic breathing regularly, more often
when you feel anxious.

Diaphragmatic breathing is a form of deep stomach breathing
which is linked to increased feelings of calmness and
relaxation. Focus on taking breaths which are based and
centered in your midsection - around the level of your belly
button. Focus on having your stomach go “out” when you take
a breath “in”. Do this 5-8 times to help calm and center you.
Regular practice can be very beneficial.

2) Practice reframing the anxiety as something positive.

Anxiety is a sign that you’re moving out of your comfort
zone and stretching into a new place of growth and excitement.
So try on the perspective that the anxiety is showing you
that you’re moving and growing. It’s not something to be
feared, it’s something that’s helping you move closer to
what you really want.

3) If your anxiety is overwhelming or debilitating, seek
professional help.

Sometimes, you feel anxious and worried and helpless and

stuck and this feeling doesn’t get better and it doesn’t
go away. If your anxiety disrupts any of your daily routines -
you can’t sleep or sleep too much, don’t eat regularly oreat
too much, or you feel irritated or sad or unhappy most of the
time, these are cues that you might benefit from seeking
professional help. A skilled mental health professional can
provide you with information, skills, support & coping
strategies to move through this.

4) Get moving!

When you feel anxious, one of the best things you can do
is get your body moving. Take a quick walk around the
neighborhood, go to the gym, anything! Moderate exercise
will release chemicals which make you feel good and physical
activity generally demands the full diaphragmatic breathing
which can also help relax you further.

5) Take responsibility for yourself and what you need.

This is one of the most important points. If you feel
anxious, this is a sign from yourself that something is
not feeling right. It might be something real, or something
feared. Whichever it is, take the steps to work on it or
manage it as soon as possible. If you need a break, take one.
If you need to call a friend, do it. If you need quiet time,
plan it. Make certain you are always working from a place of
getting what you need from each situation.

6) Keep to your word. Deliver what you promise.

One of the most powerful, and most (theoretically) simple
concepts to reduce anxiety is to practice keeping your word.
Many times, we promise ourselves something and then we don’t
do it, which makes us feel worse! We get caught up in a cycle
of rationalization and feeling stuck. You can change this,
by only promising yourself what you’re sure you will do.
It is better, by far, to set a very small goal, and meet
it, than to set a grand goal and fall very short.

7) Find yourself doing something right. Acknowledge this.

Too often, we focus on all the “bad” things, or “not good
enough” things. This makes us feel more anxious because we
feel worse and worse about ourselves. Instead, begin to shift
your focus to all the things you do right each day whether
it’s eating breakfast or brushing your teeth. Acknowledge
yourself for all the things that you’re good at such as aspects
that are going well and make you happy. It is difficult to be
anxious when you’re tapping into some good aspects about
yourself and your life.

8) Schedule a “worry hour” each day.

In this hour, you do nothing but worry. You worry about
your life, your writing, your pets, your family, your friends,
your laundry, your dishes, the state of your relationship -
anything at all. Worry, worry, worry. At the end of the hour,
you’re not allowed to worry any more for the rest of the day.
You’ve already used up all your worry minutes. This is a great
strategy for limiting worried thinking and keeping it from
permeating all your other tasks. Plus, as many of my clients
have reported, they get sick of the “worry hour” after about
three days.

9) Let go of all or nothing thinking.

The author goes on to discuss perfectionism as roadblock - especially when writing a dissertation!

10) Learn to let go of the past.

Quite often, people who struggle with anxiety have
trouble in letting go of past mistakes or events.
They tend to carry around a lot of guilt about things
they did, things they didn’t do, things they thought of
doing but didn’t, things they didn’t think of doing and
didn’t, things… well, you get the idea. Practice living
in this moment, here and now. This is a valuable skill
to learn both for the dissertation and for your life.

Overall, know that you can manage your anxiety. Start
by using these tips and seeking whatever additional
support or structure you need. You can succeed in this
project and feel good at the same time. Aim for this best
of both worlds. You can do it!

[The above tips were excerpted from "Get It Done!
A Coach's Guide to Dissertation Success"
By Dr. Rachna D. Jain, copyright 2002.]

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About Rachna D. Jain, Psy.D.
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Rachna is the Editor of the All But Dissertation
Survival Guide and the author of two related
books: Get it Done: A Coach's Guide to Dissertation
Success 2002) and Get it Done Faster: Secrets of
Dissertation Success 2004), which have been adopted
as required reading by several universities. Rachna
is a recognized expert on goal setting and achievement,
and is quoted regularly in the national media. Having
now coached more than 53 ABD's to write their
dissertations in a year or less, her personal best
as a coach is zero to finished dissertation in five
months.

She can be reached online at:
http://www.excelwitheasecoaching.com

Extreme Family Christmas

2008-11-26T13:54:00.000-08:00

Growing up in a blended family, with one step father, his extended family, my mother, her extended family, my single father, his extended family and occasional live-in girlfriend, all living within a 50 mile radius of each other in the mid-west, I can say with certainty that holidays were never boring for me as a child. Oh, sweet baby Jesus in the manger, they were anything but! 48 hours of back to back people and food, the family equivalent of "EXTREME! Something" energy drink. I thought it might be good to blog about this a bit, its seasonally appropriate anyway, and perhaps glean some insight on the food, family, frezied dynamic that is my own personal holiday experience.

Christmas Eve day or the day before if he was feeling especially well prepared, my step -father would take my mother and I to the mall. We'd split in three different directions, each intent to purchase our version of the perfect holiday present. I would ofcourse go by the Sweet Factory, to stock up on a pound of over priced mixed and match bulk candy. In my post sugar glow, I'd wander wistfully around the mall, observing the unique struggles of families with younger children and the Santa situation. My step-father, ever the procrastinator and ultimate master of his own schedule would linger until my mother nearly threw a fit and threatened to not accompany him the following year. We'd rush home in time in traffic in time for my biological father to pick me up and take me to his sister's house for a present exchange and meal.

In later years, as my biological father became less reliable as his alcoholism progressed, my mother would drive me and then as a teenager I would drive myself. I can remember a few years when my father would show up late and disgruntled and most likely drunk, or not at all. I even sought to simplify or anticipate things on occasion, taking myself out the equation and feigning sick so I could be excused for the evening festivities that year. I always felt awkard at my father's families house. I attribute this to several factors; as I grew older, I saw these people increasingly less, and two, I had a great deal of difficult seperating myself from my father and his actions and thus felt quite guilty for his erractic participation in all of the hoopla. My aunt, the family matriarch, was, and still is, a loving gracious woman, and always took special care to make me feel welcome. Unfortnately, by the time I has warmed up to my estranged family for that year, it was time to go, complete with awkard goodbye and stiff hugs, and "See you next year?" shrugs. Then rush rush home to my mother and step father's house, where an intimate gathering of my step father's family mostly, sprinkled with a few neighbors, would greet me, encourage me to eat some fudge, and get ready for Midnight Mass.

After mass, I would return home with my parents for a the night. Sleep. In the morning we had our nuclear family's present exchange. I love my step-father, but he is a creature of habit. Every year, without fail, he gives me a 1 page a day calendar and a book for women from the Catholic bookstore. Every year he gives my mother a track suit. Sigh - at least he's consistent. Next we'd hurry over to the neighbors for thier Christmas breakfast. This was the Christmas Breakfast of Champions. Homemade everything! Coffee cake, fruit salad, sausage, egg bake! God it was good. It didn't matter that I was going to eat in a few hours, wow, for the moment, life slowed down enough to be savored, and I took full advantage.

Then off to my mother's family Christmas. This was by far my favorite Christmas ritual. My mother's family, though we do have our quirks, is generally always where I felt most comfortable during the holidays. Sure, we have our family secrets, like my uncle and cousin who are out but not really. And the way we smile at grandpa after he has his seventh beer, knowing there was a time when his drinking wasn't so funny. But overall, Christmas with my mother's family is just great. And the food! My god, Martha Stewart would return to jail for some of these recipes! However, around five in the afternoon, the look on my step-father's face was telling that he didn't feel as comfortable as I and was ready to head to his side of the family. We were always the last ones to arrive. By that time, the ham was cold and slightly irredescent, the cookies, sufficently crumbled, A Wonderful Life was half way over. "They're Here!" one of my myriad of cousins would yell which was the signal that it was time to open presents. I must have fifty cousins on my step-dad's side of the family. I am one of the older ones. Considering this, opening presents was a fairly orderly endeavor.

I am married now, in my thirties, adding my husband and his family to the equation has actually made things easier. My husband tells me to not use him as an excuse, but the truth is I often do. We focus more on quality now, not quantity. We live out of state, and we don't break our necks trying to see everyone and do everything when we are home. And when we spend the holidays away from home, the calm that at first felt lonely, now feels, well, quite calm. Reflecting on everything now, my childhood holiday experience wasn't so bad. The upshot was I did get a lot of presents. It was a ridiculously awkard whirlwind ordeal, and just way too much emotions, food, annual dissapointments, but no, I don't think I could have it any other way.

Check out this article from the Mayo Clinic for more tips on coping with holiday stress:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030